Updated: Jan 30
Ah, the holidays.
Symbolized by marketing forces in overdrive: Romance. Love. Perfection.
The reality: Trying to anticipate wants of others, matching idealized versions of childhood or adult memories in current life situations, creating memories for those we care about, and the perfect decorations/baking/meals. The expense of it all, financially and emotionally. Then add a pandemic on top of it.
Marketing relies on media, now more than ever, to get their products out to match folx perception of how the holidays should be for them. While being inundated by internet and social media platforms, marketing likes doing it old school: movies and shows.
But it’s not just the holidays that set up folx for unrealistic expectations of relationships, it’s all year long with those movies and shows.
Below is a video from The Take, discussing the skewed version of romance and how many persons in the audience came away with a different view than what was actually meant in the film, “500 Days of Summer.” And it’s films and shows that keep in front of persons the ideas that create problems in relationships, and anxiety in so many persons trying to match their perceived ideas of a relationship. A note: the movie is very much seen from white, hetero normative perspective with privilege. But it’s universal in the way “romantic” or “rom-com” movies have been portrayed for decades.
Love is complicated enough without the media/marketing pushing out a writer’s, director’s, and media corporations (that wants “happy endings”) idea/experience of relationships. There’s family culture and values, ethnicity values, community expectations, as well as societal cultures that impact how folx engage in relationships.
There’s great organizations, books, and online discussions that can sort out questions about relationships and love. If it’s difficult to navigate those resources, or you’re caught in a relationship that has you asking a lot questions that you’re not able to find the answers, find a professional to help you sort it out.
Take care, and stay safe!
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